A Private Remembering
by Fey Halfkin
Summary: [Rushwater] In 'A Moon Turn' it showed how Halfkin felt by living. The Healer had been called for him and so wasn't there to save an attack back home. Here he reflects on the death of a friend.


**A Private Remembering**

'**_A great loss. No more bird music in Wind Dancer's branch_**.' His amber eyes glanced up at the singular tree that brought a glimpse of memories. The branch he saw was no different from so many tree limbs. Its slight crotch, perfect he supposed, to sit and lean from, was within view of the rushing waters but far enough there was no danger of drowning. A testing of the air failed to bring any hint of the now dead elf. And while a bird sang nearby, it lacked the comfort he needed right now.

His dark brown hair tossed a bit by a strong breeze as he gazed up. He sighed. Turning his head he looked to the left and made his way to the spot he'd been reminded of. A grunt of absentminded pain reminded him of his recent injuries. Purehaven the Healer would not be please to know he wasn't taken it too easy. Still, he needed to mourn his own way this time.

Against the tree he remembered, so very vague it was more an impulse of feeling. He leaned and gazed at the branch. One hand went into the small pouch he'd brought just for his occasion. He pulled out purple berries known as dreamberries. With the lack of meat brought back by the hunters, all food was precious but he needed to remember tonight. Quickly they melted, dissolved in his mouth as he kept looking at the branch. 'You're deeply missed, tribemate,' was all that came to mind, thinking of Snowbird. How she'd scared him at the news. Not moving, not speaking, his blood soaked into her white clothes and then with Wind Dancer's as she had held her dead lovemate. The smell of death had filled his nose even as his ears had been filled of sorrowful talking by the tribe. He could hear the Chieftess telling Purehaven it wasn't his fault he hadn't been here.

"If I just had been here..."

"If you would have been here, Halfkin would have died."

"Yes, but still..."

"No 'but's, Healer. You cannot be everywhere. You did what was right, saved a life of a tribemate. That this happened at the same time was extremely bad luck. This is not your fault, Purehaven. Do you understand me?"

A bird singing startled him out of the memory, for a moment thinking Wind Dancer and Snowbird were imitating the birds. The empty branch swept that away in a blink. He turned to face the river as though to depart from these so recent events and looking further back. It was a struggle to think back so far as a turn of the season, even less then a hand of moons, but he tried anyway. Strange that it was the rich smell of the river itself that brought back the beginning of their friendship.

Halfkin had fallen asleep under the daystar's light, leaning against a tree with Flashfur draped across his lower feet and Preystinger against his other side. They'd tracked and hunted far from the Holt in search of meat for the last few days. The sound of rushing water not too far off had lulled him to sleep when he'd stopped to take a quick nap. He remained sleeping until the daystar was at its highest in the sky before something woke him. Flashfur was the first to sense it.

Nervously, she picked her head up and listened. A sudden water sound. She quivered until a familiar hand ran down her neck ruff. Turning her head to glance at him before again facing the fast water up ahead. Only the presence of her elf-bond kept her from bolting back to the wolf den. The darker brown and ruddy red pelt of Preystinger rose to his feet with only a hint of the exhaustion that claimed each of them. He quivered in excitement unlike poor Flashfur. In body language he pleaded with his elf-bond, wanting to go see what had upset his packmate by looking back and forth between the river and the elf.

With a mix of sigh and effort getting up, the elf rose to his feet from where he'd slept against a tree trunk. The stiffness behind his legs made him limp for a moment before the kinks were worked out. Picking up his javelin, he went to both of the wolves' sides where he kept his free hand on Flashfur's shoulders. He didn't say a thing but tested the wind for what had awakened the two wolves. All he understood from their stances was that something was out here, big enough to get their attention.

The lack of meat found lately made anything remotely eatable worth investigating. Amber eyes narrowed as he grinned. Perhaps it was prey. Halfkin knew something was wrong when he saw Icebite racing along the river. No prey would make her that frantic.

He urged Preystinger faster, riding low on the wolf's back. Quickly Preystinger was close behind Icebite with Flashfur trailing a length back. Amber eyes focused on the river, searching the swift current for the cause of his sister wolf's distress. A blond head briefly emerged from the water before the waves engulfed it again. Beneath him, Halfkin felt his wolf mount tiring.

All three had been napping after an exhausting extended hunt and still hadn't much energy now. Preystinger stumbled ever so slightly every few strides. Dropping his javelin to lighten the load and free his hands they kept going. He needed to get to his drowning tribemate! The racing of blood inside countering the hue of sleepiness as he narrowed his thoughts to saving. Again Preystinger stumbled. Already he was starting to lag noticeably. Halfkin couldn't push his wolf-friend to keeping this up at the risk of losing him. The sweat running down hot, slightly sunburned skin did nothing to cool him down. Instead he howled to the only wolf with the energy to continue.

He called to his sister wolf, Icebite, who still ran ahead and Icebite, knowing and trusting her elf-brother to help her elf-bond, slowed down until she ran along side the panting Preystinger. Halfkin leaned over to grab the fur near her shoulder before twisted his lower body to land on her back. They leaped ahead once more after Wind Dancer with Preystinger coming to a hard breathing halt as soon as Halfkin had transferred. Icebite came beside Wind Dancer quickly. Halfkin nudged her a bit ahead.

Judging they were far enough in front, Halfkin quickly dismounted and started wading into the water. It pushed against his legs, trying to overwhelm him. He had to step faster then was safe. Wind Dancer was fast approaching as Halfkin got in place.

Arm stretched out he grabbed Wind Dancer's vest and the abruptly pulled off balance with the weight. The waves swallowed him whole though he kept his grip on his flailing tribemate. Halfkin coughed the water out whenever he got the chance but it still felt like half of the river was racing down his throat like fire. The struggling Wind Dancer had lessened a bit after accidentally smashing his nose, much to Halfkin's relief. Almost drowning couldn't be as exhausting as helping someone else from drowning.

With his left arm clutching Icebite's back he managed to aim them more to the side, toward shore. Little further, sister, he urged Icebite. Sending was not easy but it was better then trying to speak with the swift waters already dunking his face in its waves.

He couldn't tell exactly how long they made their way to land. Icebite's black, tan and brown body leaped and pulled both of them through the river with all her heart. Halfkin finally felt the bottom of the river. It was wonderful save for the slick rocks that his boots couldn't grip. A wet grin broke out on his face as Icebite brought him stumbling ashore and away from rock and river. Wind Dancer was stumbling under his own power and Halfkin reluctantly let his arm go loose. Gratefully, he took the chance to simply collapse and roll on his back.

The daystar's warmth let him relax with relief. He could hear Wind Dancer coughing up water, Icebite licking him and making happy sounds and his own very panting Preystinger coming closer. 'Alive,' was the word rippling through his mind even as the experience of near drowning became vague. Wind Dancer near retched even as the violent shivering began. Halfkin chuckled unheard as the strain of helping his tribemate, though he himself couldn't swim, caught up with him. For Halfkin the weariness had only one solution; a quick nap. The daystar shone comfortable upon him, the wolves would alert him if anything happened or approached, and he still needed to sleep. Shifting onto his stomach and facing toward Wind Dancer he dreamed of the hunt. It was so good to be alive!

But in minutes he was being shaken awake. The frantic way the elf touched him brought Halfkin totally alert, now thinking some danger was around. Swiftly he moved to his knees but found both his wolves relaxed and Wind Dancer looking, he wasn't sure exactly the emotions shown. They blended and vanished so quickly he could only blankly watch. Then one he could identify, guilt, veiled over Wind Dancer's face as he leapt upon Icebite and rode off.

Unsure of what had happened, Halfkin stared at the last spot he'd seen the fleeing elf. Preystinger came up to his bond and offered to carry him upon his back. It was hardly a burden to him. A drained Halfkin mounted gratefully and the three followed after Icebite and bond. Flashfur ran ahead just as her name described her, keeping to the trail so that Preystinger didn't need to pause. To her it was a game, to him it was serious for his elf-bond brother in a way he didn't understand but the chase was fun, and to Halfkin it was something Wind Dancer needed to talk about. **_'Imagine, me trying to get a tribemate to yap,_**' Was the brief, swiftly dismissed thought. .


End file.
